You decided.

You decided to refine me for use as a tool.
A tool to please you, and accomplish your will.
And you are putting me through that process into which tools enter when they too, become.
I was metal, then I was heated...
And the heat was a wonderful heat, and after yielding to the heat, I realized that the heat was love.
I never wanted to be away from that love. The heat was love, and useful for making me shapeable.
But my error was in thinking that you meant for me to stay in the heat always--that heat was the end.
And now a new dreadful thing has happened. Not only have you not meant for me to remain in that glorious heat,
I have been plunged into cold water. And the water must be cold.
The water is everything that the heat is not.
And because of that, the water seemed hateful to me at first.
And it is still hateful whenever I believe that the heat was love itself.
But the heat wasn't love, and it wasn't glorius.
It was only necessary, and appointed.
The heat was a held and weilded by you.
You used the heat.
And what is not glorious when it is in your hands?
And now you will do the same with this cold water.
Because if I had remained in the heat, I would certainly have become useless to you.
I would have moved beyond your allowance into disobedience.
And you did not purchase me that I might be disobedient, but that I might obey and prosper as yours.
And while I was in the heat, I wondered where the water was, and now that I'm in water, I wonder when the heat will come.
But one day, I will simply be who you have made me to be, without water or fire to goad me.
I will be a fashioned tool, who has yielded to you and has been made into something useful and worthy.
But you won't keep me in this water long, will you?
Because the heat was too hot, and this water is too cold.
I'm racked with wonder at where all this is going, but I am assured.
And it is not wrong for me to know that I am metal being worked, because even this knowledge is not the end.
I still don't quite know what I am being worked into...